Before I had a baby, my husband and loved to go out to eat. And at any given time we would have seen many of the movies in the theater. Well, times have changed. Those things have been replaced with diaper changes, feedings, bath time and playtime. I have no idea what movies are out, and it’s been a while since I even had two hours at home to watch a rental. Eating out is becoming less and less common too as Ella becomes more vocal and mobile. But, that’s OK. It’s somehow even better than our previous life … Here’s a typical day (Ella is about 7 months old as I write this)

4:45 a.m.: Ella wakes up crying. She’s easily comforted, but shoot, it’s so early! She yawns a few times, so I put her back in her crib. She goes back to sleep. Wish I could …
5:20 a.m.: I normally wake up around 5:15 and give myself until 5:30 to get ready. I don’t need much time. I shower and set out my clothes and Ella’s clothes the night before. Anything to minimize thinking at 5 in the morning.
5:30: Wake up Ella. She stretches, yawns and smiles. Next she goes in her highchair while I quickly feed the cats and get her breakfast ready — rice cereal with warm water mixed with a little banana baby food . She’s a little grumpy, so I move as fast as possible!
5:45: Nurse Ella and watch the news so I’m a little in the know before my 7:15 meeting.
6:05: Spend a few minutes playing with Ella before getting her dressed, grabbing my lunch (prepared the night before) and a cup of coffee. This morning I also place a pork roast, some potatoes I chopped the night before and some carrots in the crock pot — easy dinner tonight.
6:15: Head out the door — with construction on my route it takes about 40-45 minutes to take Ella to her sitter’s and get to work.
7:00: Arrive at work. Eat an english muffin and some grapes at my desk while I get organized for the day. Normally I would have a 7:15 meeting, but with the extra graphics I have to do for the weekend paper and helping with the daily newspaper I don’t have time. Start attacking to-do list, making sure to accomplish most tasks before 12:30.
11:00: Lunch at desk. Have developed bad habbit of trying to eat and work at the same time. Will need new keyboard soon.
12:30: Go nurse Ella at babysitters.
1:15 Back to work. Have less than three hours before leaving for the day. I can’t stay late like I used to because I need to pick up Ella at a certain time, so I’m constantly going over my to-do list to make sure I’m on track.
4:00: Leave work to pick up Ella. It’s Friday, so I’m anxious to be home for the weekend.
4:45: Arrive home. Take Ella up to see her daddy in his home office. We all visit and play. Then I take a few minutes to get into comfortable clothes and remove contacts.
5:00: Feed Ella dinner — rice cereal with warm water, a vegetable and a fruit.
5:20: Playtime.
5:45: My husband and I have our dinner. I’m so glad I put something in the crockpot this morning. It’s delicious and fairly healthy.
6:00: Nurse Ella.
6:30: Bathtime. Ella’s really starting to enjoy this. She puts her hands out as I pour a cup of water over them. And she giggles when I make her bath frog toy ribbit.
6:45: Put Ella’s warm pajamas on her. She doesn’t like getting dressed lately, so I try to be quick and have a toy to distract her. Next we read some books. She loves her Peekaboo Bedtime book right now. She understands to lift the tabs on each page and smiles when I yell peekaboo everytime.
7:00: I place her in her crib. At first she seems upset, but as soon as I hand down her blankie, she puts her thumb in her mouth, cuddles up with her blankie and looks so content. She’s ready for sleep.
7:30: I’m especially tired on Friday — it’s a hard day at work. So, I lay in bed watching some tv before going to slleep at 9:30. I am excited to get a good night’s sleep. I was blessed with a baby that likes to sleep in until about 7:30 on the weekends! That’sleeping in around here. Like I said … times have changed.

I never thought feeding a baby would be one of the hardest parts of having one. I thought it would be the lack of sleep or the constant attention my baby would command.
Really, the only element about feeding a baby I was worried about was breastfeeding. They teach classes on it. They have books dedicated to it. They warned me it’s not easy.
But my baby and I had no problem. In fact, she got along so well that she decided she wouldn’t drink from a bottle. We tried so many different kinds my cupboard looked like a bottle store. We also tried a few techniques, including me staying away for hours leaving only my husband to feed her. No luck. Only one very mad baby.
Oh well. We got over it. Luckily my babysitter is close to my work and I’m able to feed her a few times a day. Phew. I thought, that problem has worked itself out.
Now we’re on to solids. This will be easy, I thought.
But there are a lot of rules when it comes to feeding a baby solids. Give them cereal first, then oatmeal, then barley. Huh? Are we making beer?
And introduce each item individually for 3-5 days before beginning the next, my doctor says. That way if there’s an allergic reaction you’ll know what from. And do vegetables before fruits. Or they may not take the vegetables after having fruits.
But don’t start at all until your baby’s ready. My doctor said this most likely will be at 4 to 6 months. But according to my unscientific poll of the moms I know, this is the most commonly broken rule.
You see, babies can digest milk, especially breastmilk, very quickly, hence, many late night feedings. Give them a little rice cereal though to fill their tummy, and they’ll sleep like a … well, like a baby.
I found out this secret while talking to a momof a newborn at a Superbowl party last spring. I asked her the question everyone asks a woman who has had a baby in the last six months. “So, are you getting any sleep?” Her response caught me off guard. As if she was telling me she was hiding a body in her trunk, she leaned in and whispered, “I give him a little rice cereal at night.”
Rice cereal? I thought. What the heck is rice cereal? And why is this so top secret?
Well, I would find out later that doctors don’t recommend this for a few reasons, but many moms bend this rule. (Ask your doctor to find out more.)
But I waited until she was about 5 months old, and with a little excitement and a trepidation (after the bottle dilemma) I gave baby her first food — a little rice cereal mixed with breastmilk. She seemed excited. She grabbed for the spoon and quickly put it right in her mouth. But then out it came. She pushed it out of her mouth with her tongue. Bite afte bite, she’d push it out. With the food left in the bowl, on her face and bib, I was not sure she was consuming any of it. Oh boy, this is going to take a while.
Just weeks later though my baby had become a champion eater, wanting more the second she swallows every mouthful. And there’s been no food she’s turned down. Ironically, now I worry she’s eating too much. She’ can’t possibly have a big enough stomach for all that, I think. What if her tummy gets too stuffed?

We had ample warning. For nine months, every parent we talked to gave us the “your life will never be the same” or “this baby will change everything” line. And the scary part was we knew it was true but didn’t know exactly what that change was going to be. We had some ideas — less sleep, less free time, more hassle trying to do anything out of the house — but there is so much more to the change than just what she does to you daily routine.
It quickly sank in that we are completely responsible for another life — and not just while she is a helpless baby needing us to feed, clothe and protect her. But forever — as an infant, as a toddler, as a kid, as a teen, and even as an adult. We will need to shelter, comfort, feed, finance, advise, protect, educate and mold her intellectually and morally. Wow, that’s a big commitment.
Here are a few other things we have learned in the first two months of parenthood:
• No one told us we would spend countless hours just staring at our child repeating “she is so cute.” It’s almost ridiculous how cute our baby is — then again we’re biased.
• Babies go through a lot of diapers, sometimes two or three in just a few minutes as we found out. Also diapers don’t always work, so we learned to keep a couple changes of clothes handy.
• While we knew getting out of the house would take a little longer, we didn’t realize what had been a quick errand in the past could turn so lengthy and complicated. If you have several errands to run it could take the whole weekend!
• Childbirth really is miraculous. I wasn’t real excited about my front row seat to the birth until the moment arrived and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
• After the baby shower, we thought it was crazy to have all this stuff — but now we know you really use all of it.
• It’s fascinating how much my wife and I spend talking about bodily functions, burp, farts, pees and poops are the height of conversation these days.
• Getting our membership into the parents’ club has opened up a whole new world of conversations on parenting — all parents have stories, tips and theories to share. Even many strangers we meet now have a meaningful thing in common with us — parenthood.
• We knew we would enjoy having a daughter, but the depth of love and joy she provides us with just a smile or a coo or a cute sleeping pose is amazing. Already we are stockpiling precious moments and we have only just begun this lifelong journey.

It makes sense to me now why pregnancy is split into three periods — otherwise known as trimesters. Each three months comes with a whole new set of symptoms, emotions and a whole different body.
That burst of energy I felt during my second trimester seems to be fading away. I would love to take a nap, right now in fact. And I would, except it hurts to lay down. The careful pillow configurations I had mastered for peaceful sleep in my second trimester seem to not work anymore. My back aches from the weight of my belly, and flip flopping from side to side in bed is not so easy anymore.
And I thought I was all set when it came to a maternity wardrobe. Plenty of expandable pants and long shirts. They seem so small to me now. Ok, you may remember I hit Arby’s pretty hard for awhile a few months back, but really I hardly ever go there anymore. I’ve replaced it with an ice cream addiction.
The good news is there’s no question anymore about my condition — I clearly am pregnant. My baby bump has finally evolved into a big, rounded baby belly. And this is good for several reasons:
I can not only feel her movements and kicks, I can see them. I spend a lot of time just staring at my belly watching it twitch and wave and change shape. And my husband has now been able to feel her move too. It’s a great feeling.
People are nicer to pregnant ladies. People ask me how I’m feeling all the time, or when I’m due. Even strangers. I had a waitress recently tell me all about her new grandaughter when she saw me. And she brought my coffee cake out quickly and constantly refilled my water — because she said “she understood.”
As far as emotions go, I’m feeling more excited than ever. My sister, with the help of my mom and sister-in-law, threw a great baby shower for me and about 25 friends and relatives. It was so fun filling her nursery with the new clothes, diapers, books and toys people bought her. We’re getting very anxious to meet her.
Of course, I’m also getting more nervous as it gets closer. Not to have a baby, but to give birth to a baby. At my last visit, my nurse practicitioner actually told me when I need to get to the hospital when I’m in labor — when my water breaks or when my contractions are about five mintues apart. I was thinking “Oh my gosh, are we really talking about that stuff already? I’m not ready! I have two more months.”
I guess it’s a good thing pregnancy lasts 10 months. We need that long to mentally and emotionally prepare!

My baby radar is way off. For six months I’ve been comparing theories, comparing bellies and trying to tune in to my own instinct to determine the sex of our baby. It seemed so conclusive that we were having a boy.
I seem to be carrying lower, which is what some say boys tend to do. The baby seems more like a basketball, than oblong, as girls are known for. And I’m feeling a lot of movement — which I guess was my own theory about boys I was working on. And I only based it on my sister’s experience with her two pregnancies. Not very scientific, I know. There was also the case of the fetal heartbeat. The myth is that a lower heartrate indicates a boy, a higher one a girl. And in my family it seemed to hold true. And my own mother also firmly believed that I was carrying a boy. She seemed so certain.
But, as the ultrasound revealed at our 25 week appointment — it’s a girl! We’re extremely excited. I know it sounds a little fake when people say they don’t care what the sex is, as long as its healthy, but we really felt that way. But now that we know, it’s so fun to imagine and plan, and I already feel like I’m bonding more with our baby girl we call Ella, instead of “it.”
Today, ultrasounds are better than ever too. As you can see in the
photos, the latest 3D technology really lets you see your baby closeup. Still, many women choose to forego knowing and keep the sex a secret until the tiny baby makes his first appearance in the world. These women have way more will power than I do.
I knew before I even became pregnant that I would want to know as soon as possible. I just know myself. I like to plan ahead, make lists, imagine the future … decorate. I would have to find out. No thanks on the big surprise in the delivery room. I think there will be enough surprises.
I have heard one story that made me reconsider my decision for a minute though.
My brother Nate and his wife Rachel did not find out the sex of their baby. Nate really wanted it to be a surprise, and Rachel agreed to do that for him. She patiently told the ultrasound tech she didn’t want to know and never found out. She said she understood my brother’s point of view.
She, and all women, are deeply involved in their child’s birth. They carry their babies. They’re with them all the time. They give birth to them. So, Nate wanted to be involved by sharing the news of his baby’s sex when he was born. And after their baby was born, Nate had his moment. He got to walk proudly out to all of his family and friends and say “It’s a boy.” I’m sure he’ll never forget that.
Anyway, we had our moment too. The ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know and I said “as soon as you can say the words.” And just seconds later she pointed to the screen and said “It’s a girl.” And we’ll never forget that.

For all of you women suffering through the first trimester of your pregnancy, hang in there. It gets better. A lot better.
I suppose I should warn you. Every woman’s different and I have heard stories of women who don’t feel well throughout their entire pregnancies. Usually, however, relief comes after those first 12 weeks.
My first trimester was filled with ups and downs. The excitement was overwhelming. But so was the fatigue. I daydreamed about taking naps, and did so whenever possible. After work, I headed right for the couch, where I remained for many nights. Bed time kept getting earlier and earlier.
And the hunger — it came on so suddenly and urgently. And if you don’t do something about it, that’s when “morning sickness” strikes. Let’s just say I’m glad Arby’s serves lunch by 10:30 a.m.
By the second trimester, though, things began to look up. My energy was back. I suddenly wanted to cook again after work and even run the vacuum occasionally.
And although eating is still never far from my mind, the intensity of my hunger has subsided, and so have the trips to Arby’s.
For me, this also was about the time I decided to share my secret with the rest of the world. Our families knew, but we had not yet told a lot of our friends or coworkers. This has to be one of the highlights of pregnancy. It really brings out something special in people. Especially other parents. Almost always they share some story they have about the birth of their child or parenthood in general, and sometimes you see a side of people you’ve never seen before.
Here are just a few of the comments I have heard lately:
Sally Rowe, our KPC librarian, shared with me that her adopted daughter was born six weeks early, leaving her and her husband to come up with her name in one night! Once they got her, Sally was so nervous about giving her a bath that she asked her friend to come over and do it for her. What a good friend.
Our Greater Fort Wayne Business Weekly Publisher Rob Kaiser says that while living in Chicago, the city’s marathon was planned the week his wife was due. So, being the prepared expectant parents they were, they had an alternate route to the hospital mapped out. Luckily, Rob’s wife ended up going into labor before the marathon, so it wasn’t an issue. Unfortunately though, their gas tank was empty that day and they had to stop for a fill-up on the way to the hospital!
A word of wisdom that our Family editor, Grace Housholder, shared with me recently was something her mom told her. She said that Dr. Spock, known for writing the immensely popular baby care book “Baby and Child Care,” once said that “You have a pretty tough baby. … He can care for himself pretty well for a person who can’t say a word and knows nothing about the world.” With so much information out there on keeping your baby out of harm — and some of it contradictory — that sentence is very comforting.
So ladies, I hope that your second trimester is as good as mine. And for now, remember, Arby’s serves lunch by 10:30 a.m.

“Pregnant.”
The word was so clear on the pregnancy test, even though I was so sure I wasn’t. There were no ambiguous plus or minus signs. Nope. The tests are digital now, so it was clear. It said pregnant.
I was stunned. Although it’s exactly what we wanted and had even been plotting for the last several months, I just couldn’t believe it. I’m nearly 30, have a great marriage, a career, did everything I wanted to do before settling down for good, so why couldn’t I believe it?
After letting it sink in for a second, I started to think about how I could tell my husband. I’d always thought that would be even more fun than finding out myself. Maybe I would wait until we were out to dinner and then we’d celebrate, I thought. But two seconds later I decided I couldn’t keep this secret any longer.
Meanwhile, my husband was sitting on the couch playing PlayStation. OK, if you’re thinking this doesn’t sound like a mature father-to-be, know that he works very hard at his day job, often does freelance work at night, and is a great husband in every way. So sometimes he finds a little R&R in NFL 2006, or whatever it’s called.
At this point I was shaking, and a little teary-eyed. So, instead of trying to talk I held the stick directly in front of his eyes.
I stared at him, waiting for his moment of shock, but after a long pause, he finally spoke. “Uh, what exactly am I looking at here?” I say, “Read what it says,” pointing to the screen.
And then I don’t even remember what we said next. I know he stopped his game. And we didn’t really know what to say. I think our mouths were hanging open and we just kinda stared at each other. Then we started to think about what kind of timing this all would mean. March, we figured, would be when the baby was due.
The following month was filled with all kinds of exciting moments that I had always looked forward to. We sprung it on my parents by nonchalantly showing them a book I recently bought, entitled “I’m Pregnant!” We had his parents each open up their own bib, reading “I Love Grandma” and “I Love Grandpa.” We even bought a crib and changing table that we fell in love with.
But somehow I couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t real or maybe I was getting my hopes up for something that wouldn’t work out. We thought maybe once we go to the doctor, she’ll confirm it and then we would really believe it. However, one of the many new things I had learned was that a doctor doesn’t see you until you’re 12 weeks along. 12 weeks! That’s three months!
Eight long weeks later we finally were at our doctor’s appointment. After all the routine medical history questions and checkup, the doctor held something called a Doppler to my abdomen. By the time I turned to my husband, she had already found the heartbeat. It was beating so fast and sounded so clear. one hundred seventy beats per minute. Normal, she said. It was really amazing. The first real sign of life. I was so glad my husband was there to hear it with me.
So, maybe it took us awhile, but now we’ve finally come to believe it. We’re having a baby!