Baby’s first three months full of transitions

Wow. Time with a new baby sure flies. With feedings every two hours, 10-12 diaper changes per day, spit-ups, clothing changes, and hours spent just staring at our new baby, the early days went so fast.
I remember it felt like I didn’t have time to run even the quickest errand. And when I did I always had spit-up on my shirt and a shower was a distant memory. It seemed like so much work just to get the baby ready for a trip that there wasn’t time for me.
Ella’s just a little over three months old as I write this and she’s already changed a lot. And so have I.
She’s no longer the tiny, fragile baby we brought home from the hospital. She’s about 13 pounds. Good hugging size. And she’s loud. Her soft coos have become high-pitched squeals. And with the discovery of her hands a few weeks ago, she has really started to enjoy her toys and grabbing Mommy’s necklaces.
And as for me, I’m showering again, and I usually have a clean shirt on — at least when I leave the house. And we can even get out the door pretty quickly these days. Instead of a huge diaper bag, I just keep a few essentials in my purse at all times: diapers, wipes and a spare outfit.
I love that she’s at this adorable chubby, little, grabby baby stage, but the three month mark also was a turning point for me in another way — my return to work. I simultaneously dreaded it and looked forward to it at the same time.
Some moms have no problem making this decision — they know they want to stay at home or they know they want to continue with their career. And then there are the moms that really aren’t sure  — and I’m in that group.
Part of me wondered  how I could leave my baby with someone else while I’m at work all day. Wouldn’t she miss me? Wouldn’t I miss her? Would it feel like someone else is raising my child?
Like most people too, money would be an issue. We would need to live a lot differently. I’m still not sure if we could do it, but I know a lot of families who do it somehow. But then there would be no college savings, no 401k savings.  I don’t want to see my children saddled by huge college debt for much of their adult life. I also don’t want our children to have to worry about their parents’ retirement.
And what about my job? I love my job. It can be frustrating, but it’s challenging and creative. It’s what I went to college to do, and at this point in my career I finally have a lot of freedom in my job. And I would feel unloyal leaving after only a year of employment.
I thought about the possibilities all throughout my pregnancy and discussed it with several people. One of the best pieces of advice I heard was “whatever’s best for the mother is best for the child.” Meaning, if mom’s happy, baby’s going to be happy too. Or if mom’s miserable, that could be passed on too. I thought this made a lot of sense.
So as my pregnancy went along I kept that in mind.
I ended up having a friend of the family offer babysitting services. Someone I would feel really good about watching Ella. She’s so sweet, as are her own children. And she watches my two-year-old nephew. Ella would have daily interaction with other sweet kids, including her own cousin.
Next my bosses have been very flexible with my schedule and clearly have shown that they value parenting. So I’m able to spend a lot of quality time with Ella.
So there you have it. It’s not always perfect juggling work and raising a child, and I know it’s not right for everyone. But for us, for now, I think we’ve found what works best for us.