Nephew’s arrival adds to anticipation
OK, it’s been an exciting 8 and 1?2 months, but I have to say, I’m ready to not be pregnant anymore. I don’t mean at all that we’ve had a change of heart about our baby. We can’t wait for her to be here. I just am ready for her to be OUTSIDE of my body.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen with my internal organs these final weeks as the baby grows another half pound per week. I think something’s going to have to go. I know my stomach is squished, because whenever I eat I fill up very quickly — then am met with a new side effect, heartburn.
And my poor, poor bladder. I thought I had to go to the bathroom a lot a few months ago. Now I miss those nights when I only had to get up twice to go. And it’s so unsatisfying, too. It feels like you will be unleashing Niagara Falls when you finally make it into the bathroom. But somehow, there’s just not that much. And you still feel like you have to go.
My biggest incentive for crossing the finish line happened last Monday though — the arrival of my nephew, Finnegan Everett Cupp.
My sister Sara went into labor for the second time in her life, and for the second time, it began with her water breaking. Although, I hear this is very uncommon, despite what you see in the movies.
She spent the next 18 hours in labor before Finnegan arrived. I was so nervous all day, both for my sister, and for myself, knowing that I’d be in there soon. And I knew she was in pain. We kept in contact with her and her husband all day, and when she ordered pain medication, then an epidural, I couldn’t help but think, the pain must be really bad. She never complains about anything.
Luckily, just when I was wandering what kind of mess I had gotten myself into, we got the call that the baby was here. Sara even called me herself. I thought – “You can make a phonecall after all that?” She sounded so good, too.
She said “He’s here. And he’s perfect.” And he was perfect. I had never seen such a young newborn before. His skin was so smooth and his tiny hands were all grey and wrinkly. He was very alert, and he stared at my family as we walked in. He was so cute.
So I’m feeling ready for baby Ella to be here. And maybe then I’m going to miss these nights that I slept at all, but after seeing Finn arrive, I know it will all be worth it.
Third trimester a whole new ballgame
It makes sense to me now why pregnancy is split into three periods — otherwise known as trimesters. Each three months comes with a whole new set of symptoms, emotions and a whole different body.
That burst of energy I felt during my second trimester seems to be fading away. I would love to take a nap, right now in fact. And I would, except it hurts to lay down. The careful pillow configurations I had mastered for peaceful sleep in my second trimester seem to not work anymore. My back aches from the weight of my belly, and flip flopping from side to side in bed is not so easy anymore.
And I thought I was all set when it came to a maternity wardrobe. Plenty of expandable pants and long shirts. They seem so small to me now. Ok, you may remember I hit Arby’s pretty hard for awhile a few months back, but really I hardly ever go there anymore. I’ve replaced it with an ice cream addiction.
The good news is there’s no question anymore about my condition — I clearly am pregnant. My baby bump has finally evolved into a big, rounded baby belly. And this is good for several reasons:
I can not only feel her movements and kicks, I can see them. I spend a lot of time just staring at my belly watching it twitch and wave and change shape. And my husband has now been able to feel her move too. It’s a great feeling.
People are nicer to pregnant ladies. People ask me how I’m feeling all the time, or when I’m due. Even strangers. I had a waitress recently tell me all about her new grandaughter when she saw me. And she brought my coffee cake out quickly and constantly refilled my water — because she said “she understood.”
As far as emotions go, I’m feeling more excited than ever. My sister, with the help of my mom and sister-in-law, threw a great baby shower for me and about 25 friends and relatives. It was so fun filling her nursery with the new clothes, diapers, books and toys people bought her. We’re getting very anxious to meet her.
Of course, I’m also getting more nervous as it gets closer. Not to have a baby, but to give birth to a baby. At my last visit, my nurse practicitioner actually told me when I need to get to the hospital when I’m in labor — when my water breaks or when my contractions are about five mintues apart. I was thinking “Oh my gosh, are we really talking about that stuff already? I’m not ready! I have two more months.”
I guess it’s a good thing pregnancy lasts 10 months. We need that long to mentally and emotionally prepare!
It’s a girl!
My baby radar is way off. For six months I’ve been comparing theories, comparing bellies and trying to tune in to my own instinct to determine the sex of our baby. It seemed so conclusive that we were having a boy.
I seem to be carrying lower, which is what some say boys tend to do. The baby seems more like a basketball, than oblong, as girls are known for. And I’m feeling a lot of movement — which I guess was my own theory about boys I was working on. And I only based it on my sister’s experience with her two pregnancies. Not very scientific, I know. There was also the case of the fetal heartbeat. The myth is that a lower heartrate indicates a boy, a higher one a girl. And in my family it seemed to hold true. And my own mother also firmly believed that I was carrying a boy. She seemed so certain.
But, as the ultrasound revealed at our 25 week appointment — it’s a girl! We’re extremely excited. I know it sounds a little fake when people say they don’t care what the sex is, as long as its healthy, but we really felt that way. But now that we know, it’s so fun to imagine and plan, and I already feel like I’m bonding more with our baby girl we call Ella, instead of “it.”
Today, ultrasounds are better than ever too. As you can see in the
photos, the latest 3D technology really lets you see your baby closeup. Still, many women choose to forego knowing and keep the sex a secret until the tiny baby makes his first appearance in the world. These women have way more will power than I do.
I knew before I even became pregnant that I would want to know as soon as possible. I just know myself. I like to plan ahead, make lists, imagine the future … decorate. I would have to find out. No thanks on the big surprise in the delivery room. I think there will be enough surprises.
I have heard one story that made me reconsider my decision for a minute though.
My brother Nate and his wife Rachel did not find out the sex of their baby. Nate really wanted it to be a surprise, and Rachel agreed to do that for him. She patiently told the ultrasound tech she didn’t want to know and never found out. She said she understood my brother’s point of view.
She, and all women, are deeply involved in their child’s birth. They carry their babies. They’re with them all the time. They give birth to them. So, Nate wanted to be involved by sharing the news of his baby’s sex when he was born. And after their baby was born, Nate had his moment. He got to walk proudly out to all of his family and friends and say “It’s a boy.” I’m sure he’ll never forget that.
Anyway, we had our moment too. The ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know and I said “as soon as you can say the words.” And just seconds later she pointed to the screen and said “It’s a girl.” And we’ll never forget that.
Second trimester brings relief
For all of you women suffering through the first trimester of your pregnancy, hang in there. It gets better. A lot better.
I suppose I should warn you. Every woman’s different and I have heard stories of women who don’t feel well throughout their entire pregnancies. Usually, however, relief comes after those first 12 weeks.
My first trimester was filled with ups and downs. The excitement was overwhelming. But so was the fatigue. I daydreamed about taking naps, and did so whenever possible. After work, I headed right for the couch, where I remained for many nights. Bed time kept getting earlier and earlier.
And the hunger — it came on so suddenly and urgently. And if you don’t do something about it, that’s when “morning sickness” strikes. Let’s just say I’m glad Arby’s serves lunch by 10:30 a.m.
By the second trimester, though, things began to look up. My energy was back. I suddenly wanted to cook again after work and even run the vacuum occasionally.
And although eating is still never far from my mind, the intensity of my hunger has subsided, and so have the trips to Arby’s.
For me, this also was about the time I decided to share my secret with the rest of the world. Our families knew, but we had not yet told a lot of our friends or coworkers. This has to be one of the highlights of pregnancy. It really brings out something special in people. Especially other parents. Almost always they share some story they have about the birth of their child or parenthood in general, and sometimes you see a side of people you’ve never seen before.
Here are just a few of the comments I have heard lately:
Sally Rowe, our KPC librarian, shared with me that her adopted daughter was born six weeks early, leaving her and her husband to come up with her name in one night! Once they got her, Sally was so nervous about giving her a bath that she asked her friend to come over and do it for her. What a good friend.
Our Greater Fort Wayne Business Weekly Publisher Rob Kaiser says that while living in Chicago, the city’s marathon was planned the week his wife was due. So, being the prepared expectant parents they were, they had an alternate route to the hospital mapped out. Luckily, Rob’s wife ended up going into labor before the marathon, so it wasn’t an issue. Unfortunately though, their gas tank was empty that day and they had to stop for a fill-up on the way to the hospital!
A word of wisdom that our Family editor, Grace Housholder, shared with me recently was something her mom told her. She said that Dr. Spock, known for writing the immensely popular baby care book “Baby and Child Care,” once said that “You have a pretty tough baby. … He can care for himself pretty well for a person who can’t say a word and knows nothing about the world.” With so much information out there on keeping your baby out of harm — and some of it contradictory — that sentence is very comforting.
So ladies, I hope that your second trimester is as good as mine. And for now, remember, Arby’s serves lunch by 10:30 a.m.
RSS Feed