Fearing the terrible twos, and threes

I’ve realized that all those things people mercilessly warn you about during pregnancy are not nearly so bad. Those people must get some sort of sick thrill out of scaring nervous pregnant women.

Example A. You will never sleep again.

We’ve had our share of getting up during the night, but really you’re on this new baby high, you’re all pumped up. Bring on the feedings! And hopefully most women get a decent maternity leave if they plan on returning to work. So, if you are sleep deprived, it’s not like you have to do rocket science, mostly it’s feed, change, rock, repeat, feed change, rock, repeat, ….

Example B. You will never go out to the movies or have fun again.

Yes, people really say this. And it’s true we go out a lot less. But, my sister said it best when she said “Whatever you really like – movies, hot baths, whatever, you can make it work. You just can’t do all the things you used to.”

So, anyway, here we are, Ella’s one and we’re just moving happily along, out of all the baby stages and really starting to have fun, but I keep hearing about those “terrible twos.” You may remember my doctor warned of backarching and tantrums in our future.

So part of me wants to believe it’s some sorta conspiracy or fear tactics used to amuse others. But I actually really trust my doctor … and I’ve seen some scary things lately.

Last week I was at Meijer’s and this woman was walking out holding her 2- or 3-year-old while he was screaming “die, die, die, die.” I heard him well into the store, while they were far away, outside. Woah. I’m glad I didn’t witness that scene while I was pregnant. I think it would have sent me into a hormonal meltdown.

Yesterday, I ran into an old friend who has three daughters. She said her 2-year-old is starting to turn mean. She said it like it was just a fact of life. Her girl has even started saying “damnit.”

My sister and sister-in-law have had some troubling experiences lately too. Rachel went on about how sweet her little boy, Grant, has been lately. She thought that his bad phase was done with. Today though, she reported things weren’t so good. He kept taking things away from a little friend the night before, and when Rachel sent him to the corner he threw a cup at her. Hard. She had a red mark on her face.

My sister Sara said her daughter turned evil at age 2. Last week she called my sister stupid at Ella’s birthday party. The scary thing is she’s 3 now. It doesn’t even end at 2?

Shoot. Well, I’m going to live in denial as long as I can. For now, my baby is really sweet and doesn’t do anything wrong. And who knows, maybe Sara was wrong with her implication recently – she saw me holding Ella and said “My baby was just like yours when she was that age.”

Can she really be bad?

Not just a pretty face – Ella’s latest tricks

Ella’s been doing a lot of new stuff lately. Here are a few of her favorite hobbies:

1. Picking up her baby doll, giving her a kiss, then rocking her in a bassinett.

2. Kissing on command. She’ll give her stuffed animals kisses when I suggest it. They’re open-mouthed. And she won’t kiss me or her daddy. We’re working on it.

3. Repeatedly saying “ball” – and she really will be looking at a ball! Then she will even proceed to play catch with you. Except her version of throwing it is to walk over and give it to you. Then you need to move away to continue the game.

4. High five. A great trick Daddy taught her. Sometimes he teaches her weird tricks. Like wiggling her tongue. But, I have to admit I love the high five.

5. Climbing. This one’s a little scary. So far it’s just onto our small, soft ottomans, but I see dangerous kitchen chair climbs in our future …

6. Dancing. She’s been doing this occassionally for awhile now. But now it’s almost guaranteed that if you have music on, or even a cell phone rings, she’ll bop to the beat. It’s so cute.

7. Carrying a basket around like a purse and filling it up with things she finds. She learned this the day AFTER easter. Shoot!

8. Lifting stuff. Even if it’s really big and awkward it’s almost like a challenge for her. She wants to see just what she can or can’t pick up. Her little people airplane, yes. Her little people barn, no.

9. Sitting on daddy’s lap. Lately she’s found a new love for daddy. She’s always loved him, but if I was around, she’d chose me. Now, she’s starting to go to him and sit in his lap a lot. He’s very happy.

10. Help in the kitchen. Well, it’s not so much help as it is making a complete mess. But today she worked so intently on opening a bag of spinach and putting it into a bowl while I got dinner around, it was so sweet.

A blood disorder, but it could be worse

Last week at Ella’s 1-year checkup I informed my doctor that my husband has a blood disorder called spherocytosis. I had always meant to mention it at other checkups, but since she was such a happy, quickly-developing, healthy-seeming baby, it just never really crossed my mind. Plus it’s just something that we rarely think about. Occasionally my husband gets really tired and sleeps all day. He also seems to get sick more often and for longer than me. For years I kinda just thought he exaggerating his condition to get out of housework. But I have talked to his family a lot about it. I’m pretty sure they don’t care about getting Steve out of housework, so I guess it’s legit.

Anyway, they said they would look for this condition when they did her labwork. What defines this condition is sphere-shaped red blood cells. Usually they are disc shaped and stronger. OK, enough medical talk. The doctor said that if she had this disorder she would personally call me, if not the nurse would.

Later that evening I get the call. It’s the nurse. Thank god. Although she says, well Ella is slightly anemic. She has low iron. And she does have some sphere shaped cells. Oh no. She does have it. My stomach sank. I really really hoped it would just skip her. The Internet said she had a 50/50 chance of getting it.

As the news sunk in I had so many questions. What does this mean? What can we do? How bad will she have it? Steve’s dad and brother also have it but have never really felt symptoms.

Just minutes after the news my in-laws arrived. They were on their way home from a visit with their other child and grandchildren and stopped to stay the night.

We discussed the news with them. Then my mother-in-law made my heart sink with this statement, “Steve almost died from mono in high school because of the blood disease.”

I didn’t sleep well that night.

Turns out Steve’s mono did cause his spleen to be enlarged. The spleen is already working harder with this condition. So, they scheduled a splenectomy. Only they made the date months in advance. Steve was in a play and had spring break, things he didn’t want to miss. By the time they went to remove his spleen it was huge. It could have easily been ruptured and caused internal bleeding.

So, I think that a. it’s a mistake to put off something like that and b. knowledge is power and now that we know Ella could have spleen or other issues we will look for them. So, I’m feeling much better about the whole thing.

And we met with a pediatric hematologist today, who was located in a cancer unit, putting things into perspective even more. There were several children there who had lost all their hair due to cancer. I can’t imagine. I was dreading this second visit to have Ella’s blood drawn, I can’t imagine watching your kid suffer through chemotherapy.

The doctor told us about the disorder – or anemia – actually. And I feel a lot better about it. And actually we don’t even know for sure if she has it. A test is being done to confirm that and we’ll know in a few weeks.

But basically if she does it will mean if she has a severe case, she may have fatigue maybe even have to have her spleen removed someday. But people do it. The doctor said sometimes it’s like a rite a passage in some families. They all get their spleen removed at age 21! But I’m optimistic that like Steve’s dad and brother, she won’t even have symptoms. She’ll also get an extra vaccine when she’s two and maybe go on folic acid.

And now for a really serious topic. Rock of Love. Did anyone see that last episode where Bret Michaels kept finding out more about Daisy? Loved it! How many more secrets can she have? So far he’s discovered she was a stripper, had an abortion and still lives with her boyfriend! She’s becoming a blubbering mess too. For some reason I like her though. Under those fake lips, fake nose and fake boobs, there’s kinda something sweet about her. I do wish he’d give Destiny the boot. That girl has a serious attitude problem. Ambre seems cool, but she always strikes me as playing dressup. She looks like a cheerleader not a rockstar groupie. Maybe I’m wrong. Previews show that in the next episode he’s going to find out she’s 37, instead of 31 like she said. Can’t wait! Don’t judge me, Internet. It’s been a tough week!

Busy busy

Finally. A weekend with no plans. With my dad’s 60th birthday party, Ella’s 1st birthday party and my monthly Saturday night shifts, we’ve had some busy weekends lately. Despite the “free” weekend I had in mind though, it’s turned out to be pretty busy.

There was the usual on our plate- playtime with Ella, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry. Throw in a lunch with my sister and mom, a stop at our city’s home and garden show, Babies R Us, Pier 1 and Borders and I worked a 6:30 p.m. to 12:3 a.m. Saturday night shift.

Friday night I even went out for drinks. Now those of you who knew me in college, in California, OK, in highschool too, this sentence doesn’t sound out of the ordinary. But I’ve only made it out for drinks maybe twice since Ella’s been born. More than a year ago. My husband and I have had movie/dinner dates, but to actually go to a bar and have drinks, I just haven’t.

Anyway, my sister and I met my sister-in-law, brother and some other friends at a local bar/restaurant. I drank two beers, ate. It was nice. Although it was kinda loud. And by 10 I was dreaming of my bed. Luckily my sister is admittingly lame like me, so we left. I was so happy. Do I sound old or what? I don’t care. I like sleep.

I could go out more if I wanted. My husband could watch Ella or I’m sure my mom would jump at the chance. Ella even goes to bed about 7:3o. I wouldn’t even miss out on time with her. I just don’t WANT to go out. Sleep is too valuable. I don’t want to be a grumpy old hag in the morning either. I love my mornings with Ella. She eats her breakfast while I get the kitchen straightened up and make myself some coffee. Then the next hour or so we just play, maybe turn on cartoons. I don’t know why I love this time, maybe because I’m a super dork and I’m planning out my whole day. And just as I get ready to be productive Ella’s ready for her morning nap. It works out perfectly.

So, Saturday has passed and I still needed to: A. go grocery shopping and B. return some items at Kohl’s I bought about a month ago and haven’t had a chance to return. A whole month. Crazy that it takes me a month to have the chance to get back there. Pre-kid I would have gone back the next weekend. Now though if I have one errand to run, that’s enough for the day. Between meals, naps and putting us both through getting in and out of the car, no thanks to multiple errands.

Anway, I decided what I needed to do was go by myself. I’d leave after I put Ella down for her nap and when she wakes up Daddy can play with her for a while. I don’t do this a lot. First of all, I like having Ella with me. Secondly, it kinda feels like I’m cheating for some reason. I always think of those single moms or moms who have husbands who aren’t home much and I think ‘if they can do it, I can do it.’ But again … multiple errands with a toddler – eew.

So off I went. I fill up my car with gas. Returned some items at Kohl’s and even tried on some more. I realized I also had an item to return to Old Navy. I may have a obsession with returning things, but that’s another story. Next I went to the grocery store. I whizzed threw the aisles. Getting in and out of the car seemed so easy. There was no dispersing of cheerios throughout the visit. No getting her out of her cart and having to push the cart while holding a 20-pound baby. Nice and easy.

Ahhh… so now it’s Sunday afternoon. All that’s done and I still have some of my “free” weekend left! Of course there’s still the laundry and I need an oil change. I guess there’s always next weekend.